I'll admit it. I am not above it when it comes to parenting. Those close to me know that the only reason Hagen is no longer in a diaper is because I gave him a train each time he went #2 in the potty.

So with less than two months to go until Christmas, I was on once again faced with  the fact that at some point I needed the perfect Christmas photo  for our Christmas card.

 It's not like it use to be when they were two and just automatically cute and wear what ever you put them in. Now they smile funny, insist on wearing orange and green, want their hair a certain way, or not want to have their photo taken at all.

And so I said to them yesterday, I am about to take your photo together and if I get the Christmas card shot, I will give you each $5.

I am proud to report...the cards are on order.

It's no secret that Colton has little to no interest in school. School is a thing that pries him from the warmth of his bed or away from the wonders of TV on a daily basis and for what? A ton of chaos, social interaction, and rule following that drives him insane. This introvert would soon have his education brought to him by these sponsors vs. figuring it out on a worksheet on his own.

But since attending is a state law and a threat of incarnation looms over all of our heads, Colton, with a heavy heart, forces himself to school for another day.

With this reluctance and disgust, it's no suprise that Colton doesn't always give 100%. In fact, he openly admits he will only give 70%, because 70% is a passing grade and why would you do anything more?

We regular get notes about how Colton "couldn't get started" on an assignment or Colton "couldn't finish" or "not sure where Colton's head was today".  We get several papers with low grades not because Colton didn't understand, but because Colton didn't care.

And so we talk to Colton, bribe Colton, punish Colton, reward Colton...all to motivate Colton to give it his all at school.

Imagine our suprise when report cards came out to see Colton had all A's. How could this be possible? Through analysis, it seems that Colton finished the work that matter and dismisses all that does not.

Is it coicidence? Is it slack from the teacher or could it be that Colton has learned a life lesson at eight that many don't learn until adulthood? There are things you do in life because you must...pay taxes and there are things you don't because well...it doesn't really matter. Has he recognized there is a difffence and how to recognize the difference?

Maybe or maybe not...but for now...I will give him some extra credit...I am confident he has never signed up for that.

As sad as I hate to see an end to a wonderful summer it was time for the fellas to return to school. I tried to remind Hagen of this monumental occassion.."this is the last time it will be the first day of school for you at Old Town Elementary." His response..."yeah, i guess." So much for taking a moment.

We are on year six of the public school system, it seems like only yesterday I raced home from work, swooped up the kids from daycare to drop off Hagen's school supplies in my allotted 45 minute window. We were nearly the last to arrive with several bags in hand. I foolishly thought I would set down the markers, crayons, and manilla paper and explore the classroom with Hagen. Turns out I had to put away his supplies. The teacher handed me instructions for putting away the supplies and though they were written for a 5 year old, I was confused where everything went. I started to sweat and suddenly felt overwhelmed as the class parrot began chirping next to me as if it was mocking me saying "stupid parent, stupid parent, stupid parent."  I dispersed the rest of the supplies and then bent over at a table that came to my ankles to sign up for stuff, it was at that moment a mother and daugher walked into the classroom  and said, "Here Mrs. Teacher we made you this homeade chocolate pie from scratch for you. We are so excited about this year. Oh and someone told us you love to drink this soda so we got you a case." Whoa...wait a minute here. No one told me this whole thing was transacation based.  Was I suppose to bring a gift? Would Hagen get less attention, less love, less smarts, since I didn't get a gift.  Shit. Now the parrot spoke again, "Loser parent, loser parent, loser parent." I gave the parrot the evil eye and wandered out of the classroom. Then I saw it. The teacher's wish list. A list of supplies the teacher would like donated to the classroom. I had picked up the sticky note for "boom box" when Rog arrived. I gave him the download about the supplies, the pie, and the parrot and said it was clear the only thing I could do was buy the teacher a boom box. I mean, how else would Hagen graduate college? Roger slowly pulled the sticky note out of my hands and returned it to the board. He said, "That seems a bit much. Let's start with feathers and see where that gets us."

Here we are again, I have gotten better at a few things...

-I will never understand where to put the supplies when we drop them off and I am ok with that.

-I label my chidren's possession with full knowledge that once they are lost they will not return to our home, but I label anyway.

-I think it is perfectly fine to borrow money from your child's piggy bank when a random $2.75 is needed for something as random.

-I insist on a first day of school picture, but let go of their hand when they say they are ok to go the rest of the way alone.

-I don't make homeade chocolate pies for the teacher but I do slip them Starbucks gift cards as a way to say..."I know my child really well and you are going to need this."

Kindegarten

3rd & 5th grade

for a space odessy and baseball and returned with over 2000 more lego pieces...

Some make trips to the Holy Land we make trips to the lego store...

It felt like we spent as much time in the Lego Store as we did Johnson Space Center and I may be right considering this quote from Hagen..."The space center was fun, too bad we didn't learn anything."

ummm...how can it be the 11th day of August?  Where did July go? Even though it flew by, I did manage to capture a few photos, but they leave us with more questions...

Are you sure that's as big as you could make my cake?

Mom, why did I have to go all the way to Nebraska just to catch a fish?

Space travel, what's the big deal?

Do you think anyone can tell she is adopted?

Seriously, I am happy to be rescued, but what is with all of the photos?

Ahhhh, that's where the month and my paychecks went...birthday parties, 2 weeks in Iowa, and a new member of the family...Sadie Sopher.

Our pilmgrimage to South Padre is over. We have returned with sand, shells, photos, and prescription drugs.

Number of

photos taken: 253

shells collected: 30

rocks collected in the pool and treasured more than the shells: 1

waves conquered: 100

holes dug in the sand: at least 50

tetnus shots: 1

mysterious rashes: 1

sunburns: 2

trenches built: 1 (but it was huge)

bellman carts needed to carry our stuff: 1 (but I felt really bad)

birthdays celebrated: 1

days there: 5

loads of laundry upon our return: 7

number of minutes it took for Hagen to become bored on our return: 22

Our weekend adventure was something new, something slightly odd, and something kind of hard to explain.., 

We tried the little known hobby of "letterboxing." Hagen read about it somewhere and I did some research to learn there was an inexpensive treasure hunt happening right in our neighborhood. 

Here is the idea...someone has hidden a box somewhere (usually a  public place) and inside the box is a book and a stamp. They have placed clues to where the box is hidden on a website and you set off to find the box. The clues range from simple to tricky.  Once you find the box you bring along your own stamp and stamp the book and in turn take their stamp and stamp your book. You return the contents to its hiding place. That's pretty much it.

We purchased simple field journals, printed out 5 box locations, and started our day with breakfast tacos, if nothing else our stomachs were full.

We found four letterboxes all hidden in public Round Rock locations and our way we found: a park in Round Rock that we didn't know was there, a slave cemetary, and our quota of interacting with nature for the week.

Boys loved it ...you should try it

www.letterboxing.org

Dear Large Pharmaceutical Manufacturer,

As it seems allergy, restless leg, and male enhancing drugs have run their course, I was wondering if you could possibly create a new drug for me? I am current suffering from "Attracking Annoying Children in Public Places" otherwise known as AACIPP.

I have suffered from this disease for nearly 11 years and it seems it is only getting worse. My symptoms are nearly the same each time. I am in a public place like a park or pool, when a unsupervised child invades my space. They often want to eat my food, play with my toys, or talk. Of course, I am a friendly person who enjoys conversation but often the child or children I am describing don't want to have a conversation but rather just talk. These children often don't recognize the signs of go away when I walk away, or when I tell them "no, not today" or just kind of ignore them. These children just talk and get closer and closer to me often making me uncomfortable.

These children often have parents somewhat nearby but are not watching their children and the never make eye contact with me. It seems if they did they would have to acknolwedge their child's arms are wrapped around my leg while drinking my last juice box and say, "Oh, Bobby, come on over here."

Today, I attracted four from one family. I had taken the boys to Old Settler's Park for games, kites, and picnic.  Somehow, admist the 570 acres of park, this familly decides to pick the table five feet from us.  Within moments, the 3rd child is trying to pull down Hagen's kite as it is flying. Hagen shoots me a look of "please address this before my behavior becomes inappropriate." I asked him to stop and he ran off. But then he returned, soon talking and I wasn't really sure what he was saying and I just nodded. He soon was digging through the toy bag and taking our toys. Each time he would be caught and forced to return them by his 1/2 paying attention father.  Then only inches away from me and the boys the boy pulled down his pants at pee'd on the tree next to us. Really?  After the two boys broke our frisbee the father suggested they move to another spot.

So as you can see, I need a drug...it can come in any form...spray, creme, pill. I don't care.

Sincerely,

A Desparate Woman

This may come as a shock to you, but not all of our memory making weekends are picture perfect. I know, I know, it would seem that through the photos and words I share that we Sophers enjoy each other's company for longs periods of time,  but I must admit. We even go through our share of...moments.

This blog reveals what was "behind the photo" from our trip on Saturday to Waco to tour a hands on DaVinci exhibit and the Dr. Pepper Museum.

What You Think You See: Hagen experimenting with simple machines.

What Was Really Happening: Me saying to Hagen "just pretend like you are working the machine so I can snap a photo.

What You Think You See: Colton understanding how to move waters upward as from a well.

What Was Really Happening: "Dude, look how fast I can spin this."

What You Think You See: Two young gentlemen learning the science of catapults.

What Was Actually Happening:  "ok man, I am going pull this one back so far it is going to shoot through the window and break and shatter glass everywhere, won't that be AWESOME?"

What You Think You See: Hagen reading one of the exhibit plaques.

What is Actually Happening: Hagen is looking for the gift shop on the map.

What You Think You See: Hagen posing for picture.

What is Actually Happening: Hagen saying, "Yes, I will take a good picture if you PROMISE I get something from the gift shop."

What You Think You See: Hagen & Colton exploring the communication room at the museum by trying out typewriters.

What is Actually Happening: Rog and I thinking to ourselves, "Seriously, they have been typing on those typewriters for 20 minutes. I can't believe they find this to be the most interesting thing in this whole building."

What You Think You See: Colton checking out his height.

What is Actually Happening: Hagen protesting in the background. "What do mean he is only 3 inches shorter than me? He cheated!!!!!!!"

What You Think You See: Colton on TV delivering the weather to all those Texas viewers.

What is Actually Happening: Me saying to Colton, "Ok, last time and I mean it. There are several kids here who want a turn."

What You Think You See: Hagen displaying bravery by taunting a buffalo ..who is dead of course..

What is Actually Happening: That's pretty much what is happening.

What You Think You See: Colton enjoying a fresh Dr. Pepper after our trip through the museum.

What is Actually Happening: Colton saying to me for the 100th time. "I hate Dr. Pepper. I don't know why we are here. No, I don't want to drink it for a picture. I hate Dr. Pepper."

What You Think You See: A summary to a good day .

What is Actually Happening: Lisa asking Roger, "Where did Colton go?" Rog saying, "He is in the bathroom doing what he does in any public place...taking a dump."

The Sopher "Making Memories" summer continues.... 

We made tye dye t-shirts, we had a picnic at the pool, we saw the largest urban bat colony, we road a boat, we did cannonballs, we rode elevators at hotels, we learned how to play washers at Freddie's restaurant, we ate jalepenos,  and we ate ice cream at Amy's at night on South Congress.

No one had a meltdown, no one fell down, no one was bored, no one fought, and no one cared when the bats pee'd on all of us.

On a scale of 1-10 the boys rated it a 11,000. That's right...I kick ass. (if this were a competitiion I would win, which it is not, but just for the record if it was, I would win.)