All signs point to the end of school.....

• No one can sleep at night...it's too light
• Everyone requests a fast supper like cereal so we make it to the pool before bedtime
• Colton has requested for the last two weeks to wear an eye patch to school because the work is starting to burn a hole in his eyes
• Hagen says things like "I am passing to 5th grade, I don't know why I have to do my homework."
• The family calendar won't stay on the fridge...it has admitted defeat and wishes to be thrown away

And what makes it worse is that now more than ever, we have to be on our game.

Monday - sunglasses day

Tuesday - read in day (bring blanket, pillow, books to read) & money for the book fair

Wednesday - $25 for karate, Orthodontist appointment

Thursday  - Crap I don't remember what Thursday is

Friday - Field Day - hats, change of clothes, water, suncreen, healthy snack.

Seriously...what is Thursday. There are 15 more days of school left. This I know.

I am behind. Hagen is 10 and we haven't had the "birds and the bees" talk yet. I knew the conversation was coming but I thought I had one more year before we made the big leap into middle school, but no apparently not. Apparently I need to get to it or some extroverted 5th grader is going to corrupt my child with misinformation.

Normally, I watch Oprah and make mental notes of all of the things I should do...write in a grateful journal, find my true calling, find financial independence, eat right...all things I have on my to do list. But for some reason this one stuck with me, so last weekend when Hagen and I ventured out for a movie, I tested the waters.

Me: How's it going? How is school?

Hagen: Good.

Me: So how are your friends?

Hagen: Good

Me: How goes it with the girls?

Hagen: Girls??? MOM! Stop talking about stupid girls.

Me: So what's been happening at lunch? Any interesting topics?

Hagen: No

Me: Any new words people are are using that you don't understand?

H: No. Any words we don't know Ms. Dawson explains in class.

Me: Any thing you want to talk to me about? Any questions you have for me? Anything at all? Seriously, you can ask me anything.

H: Hmmm. No. I am good.

Me: Ok, well if anything comes up, or you start hear stuff at school that you don't understand, you can ask me anytime.

H: Oh Mom. I do have one question.

Me (bracing myself): Ok, I am ready.

H: Can we get a trampoline?

Me: No

As Rog and I celebrate our 15 years together today, we thought of a few wedding vows we would have thrown in...

• At 2am, after our child has vomitted. I promise not to argue which job is worse..rising sheets or rinsing off the crying child.
• When you are trying to explain to me homework, a doctor's diagnosis or what the plumber said about the water heater, I will remember you are just the messenger and I will not get made at you.
• I promise not to call them your kids.
• I promise not to visibly keep score (like a scoreboard) of the number of times I have taken out the trash, unloaded the dishwasher, or put away laundry, but I reservve the right to keep score in my head.
• I promise not to expect an answer when we are moving and I say, "Do we really need all of this shit?"
• I promise when we are arguing in public to swallow my pride with a swig of beer.
• I promise not to get mad until the 5th time when you ask me how my day is going or "what are you thinking?" (that one was from rog)
• I promise to oustource as much as possible...repairs, the lawnservice, housecleaning, our taxes.
• I promise to be appreciative when you make coffee in the morning even though you make the biggest mess.

Eloping in Elk Point, South Dakota.

We were young and happy.

The school's behavior system is simple. Everyone starts the day on green. You make a bad choice, you move to yellow. You totally mess up, you move to red. The principal or your parents usually get involved on red.

The Sophers have had their share of yellows and reds. We all have bad days, I get that. If you try your best, that's really all I can ask.

Hagen had a patch of yellow's in 1st grade. He still holds the streak of greatest number of yellows in a row. During that "time" we talked to Hagen everynight about his behavior and how we was going to make better choices the next day. After being lectured for 10 days in a row, he had enough and shared this with us. "Mom, when I am 19 will it even matter that I had these yellows?" Well, the honest answer is no. It probably won't and even just a few years later. It doesn't really matter. No one even remembers about the yellows except for maybe me.

It seems Colton has figured it out that "yellow" really doesn't matter. Colton has a history of not finishing his work. That "choice" usually lands him in study hall, which basically means that he can't go to recess. However, in recent weeks Colton has hooked up with a kick ball gang. There is a group of 2nd graders that play kick ball everyday and Colton seems to enjoy it.

On Thursday, Colton found himself with have to making a choice. Go to study hall and finish work that most of his classmates had finished hours ago or break the rule and head out for kick ball. It seems Colton chose the latter. He took the yellow.

My friend Megan reminds me that there is no real consequence for a yellow and he made the right choice. It was 80 degrees, the gang needed him, and honestly, the writing assignment can wait for another day.

Play hookie with me. Take the yellow.

Those were the words Colton said to me when we were in a disagreement about doing his homework.

I was "encouraging" him to finish and he kept saying he was focused on other things (he was trying to watch a Spongebob episode)

When I kept asking him to focus he said, "How about I draw you a picture?"

The half circle - his head

The inner circle - his brain

The letters on the left (HW) - homework

The letters on the right (OT) - other things

 "Mom, do you see how the arrow is pointing to the right? I am focused on other things."

"Yes, I see now"

"It's too bad I have to draw it out for you. Maybe you need homework."

just got that much worse...

The news depresses me, it scares me, it annoys me. I want to remain in my safe cocoon of denial but the media continues to remind me of how awful things are and how every American is cutting back.  I want to cut back, it's the right thing to do, and I read how other Americans are finding ways to save money, I just can't do all the things they are doing, like...

Cutting My Own Children's Hair

Each morning my children wake up looking like dogs have chewed on their hair all night (we don't have dogs). In order not to alert CPS, I sneak up behind my children while they are brushing their teeth and I try to quickly spray hair detangler in their hair and comb it before they have a chance to spit and scream "Stop". The event is usually less than successful and a full argument ensues over the idea of just getting their hair to lay down. There is no way I could cut it. One, I can't cut a piece of paper in a straight line and two, my children wouldn't let me. They believe a strange person coming towards them with a sharp pair of scissors is better than the alternative. So $30 every 2 months has to stay in the budget.

We are leaving hair to the professionals.

Using Coupons

I have blogged on this before. I have cut coupons and I have bought a coupon organizer and I schlepped them all to the store and sometimes I have a match and I save .20 cents. I have studied those people on Oprah who explain that you don't decide what to eat first but rather get the best deal on the food and then create a week's worth of meals based on what is in your pantry.  I recognize my own limitations and making a meal out of black beans, tuna, and carrots is one of them. So our grocery bill remains the same.

The Library

I believe in libraries and they are a good, my problem is that I don't like to share with other people. Hagen and I have TRIED to to use the library on several occasions. We decide on the book, navigate through the Dewey Decimal system only to learn the book is checked out by someone else. We start over and try again and then again and then again. After four failed attempts for a book we leave and head to Barnes and Noble. grab a latte and easily find the book we were looking for proudly on display.  It's not the library's fault,  we just have a strong instint gratification gene, that they library cannot fulfill.

Completing A Set

One of the greatest weaknesses I have is the notions of a set. If there are toys, books, movies, pens, anything that are sold separately but are part of a trilogy or collection, I need the set. Things are better in a set. I still remember that overwhelming joy when I received the 3rd Holly Hobbie doll on Christmas night at Granny's house from my cousing Randy in 1978. I hugged him. He was much older and I am sure determined at that moment I was a freak. It was clear he did not understand the notion of a set.

Seriously, how can one separate Holly, Amy and Heather?

So if we have one of something, it is safe to assume we have it all. So, no money saving is going to happen there.

Doing Our Own Taxes

Several years ago, our taxes got complicated and Rog and I attempted to do them on our own. We nearly got a divorce and decided to outsource at that moment. We now pay $135 a year for Carlos to do what we are capability of doing but if I am correct...$135 is cheaper than attorney fees, so really we are saving money.

Well...I must go.. I am sure there is money I could be wasting somewhere...

What started as an errand to downtown Austin to deliver our tax documents to the tax man ended with lunch at Hula Hut and a trip to the state capitol.

I want to type that we enjoyed the tour, learned a lot, and can share that with you here. Instead, we enjoyed the cannons, the elevators and looking down.

Standing in the center of the capitol and looking up at the dome.

Looking up at Rog and Hagen on the 4th floor.

No one looking at all

Looking down at Hagen and Colton from the 4th floor.

Looking at the map for the gift shop.

On this winter day the sun shown a little brighter, a little higher, a little warmer.

On this winter day we set aside video games and fancy toys for a few dollar store water bottles.

On this winter day we made up a new game of tossing water bottles in the air and getting wet.

On this winter day we smelled the sweet smell of Coppertone, we let the sun hit our backs, a few more freckles emerged...on this winter day.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

For the last two days I have sat in the school cafeteria watching my children along with hundreds of others receive their first semester awards. The "extra" time I had while sitting there gave me an opportunity to think...what are the awards my children could receive but never will....

For Colton

"I'm Sorry..You Seem To Think I Care"

Colton continues to amaze me by how little he seems to worry about the things I think are important, like ....grades. Colton has recently turned in writing assignments that simply say "Blah, blah, blah, blah." for topics that just don't seem to interest him.

Last week we worked hard to prepare for a writing assignment test.. When Colton actually did the test he didn't do very well, I asked him if he was disappointed based on all of the work he had done to prepare. His response "Ummm..no. It's fine."

For Hagen

"I have a 99 grade in spelling, but I can't spell."

Each week Hagen has a list of spelling words, we study, and does well each week on his test, but then when it comes to spelling any other word during the week he can't. Here is a typical conversation.

Hagen: Mom, how do you spell conncect?

Mom: C-O-N

Hagen: C-O-N (repeating has he writes)

Mom: N-E-C-T

Hagen: C-O-N-E-C what?

Mom: No, it's C-O-N-N-E-C-T

Hagen: C-O-N-E-C-T

Mom: No, there are two n's C-O-N-N-E-C-T

Hagen: Ohhhhhh. two c's. C-O-N-N-E-C.. what?

Mom: Y-O-U A-R-E K-I-L-L-I-N-G M-E