Sopher Family

15 Years And Counting

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:08:20 GMT

As Rog and I celebrate our 15 years together today, we thought of a few wedding vows we would have thrown in...

At 2am, after our child has vomitted. I promise not to argue which job is worse..rising sheets or rinsing off the crying child.
When you are trying to explain to me homework, a doctor's diagnosis or what the plumber said about the water heater, I will remember you are just the messenger and I will not get made at you.
I promise not to call them your kids.
I promise not to visibly keep score (like a scoreboard) of the number of times I have taken out the trash, unloaded the dishwasher, or put away laundry, but I reservve the right to keep score in my head.
I promise not to expect an answer when we are moving and I say, "Do we really need all of this shit?"
I promise when we are arguing in public to swallow my pride with a swig of beer.
I promise not to get mad until the 5th time when you ask me how my day is going or "what are you thinking?" (that one was from rog)
I promise to oustource as much as possible...repairs, the lawnservice, housecleaning, our taxes.
I promise to be appreciative when you make coffee in the morning even though you make the biggest mess.

Eloping in Elk Point, South Dakota.

We were young and happy.

I'll Take The Yellow

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:27:19 GMT

The school's behavior system is simple. Everyone starts the day on green. You make a bad choice, you move to yellow. You totally mess up, you move to red. The principal or your parents usually get involved on red.

The Sophers have had their share of yellows and reds. We all have bad days, I get that. If you try your best, that's really all I can ask.

Hagen had a patch of yellow's in 1st grade. He still holds the streak of greatest number of yellows in a row. During that "time" we talked to Hagen everynight about his behavior and how we was going to make better choices the next day. After being lectured for 10 days in a row, he had enough and shared this with us. "Mom, when I am 19 will it even matter that I had these yellows?" Well, the honest answer is no. It probably won't and even just a few years later. It doesn't really matter. No one even remembers about the yellows except for maybe me.

It seems Colton has figured it out that "yellow" really doesn't matter. Colton has a history of not finishing his work. That "choice" usually lands him in study hall, which basically means that he can't go to recess. However, in recent weeks Colton has hooked up with a kick ball gang. There is a group of 2nd graders that play kick ball everyday and Colton seems to enjoy it.

On Thursday, Colton found himself with have to making a choice. Go to study hall and finish work that most of his classmates had finished hours ago or break the rule and head out for kick ball. It seems Colton chose the latter. He took the yellow.

My friend Megan reminds me that there is no real consequence for a yellow and he made the right choice. It was 80 degrees, the gang needed him, and honestly, the writing assignment can wait for another day.

Play hookie with me. Take the yellow.

How About I Draw You a Picture

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:29:49 GMT

Those were the words Colton said to me when we were in a disagreement about doing his homework.

I was "encouraging" him to finish and he kept saying he was focused on other things (he was trying to watch a Spongebob episode)

When I kept asking him to focus he said, "How about I draw you a picture?"

The half circle - his head

The inner circle - his brain

The letters on the left (HW) - homework

The letters on the right (OT) - other things

"Mom, do you see how the arrow is pointing to the right? I am focused on other things."

"Yes, I see now"

"It's too bad I have to draw it out for you. Maybe you need homework."

Homework At Our House...

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:23:54 GMT

just got that much worse...

The Sophers & The Economy

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:22:59 GMT

The news depresses me, it scares me, it annoys me. I want to remain in my safe cocoon of denial but the media continues to remind me of how awful things are and how every American is cutting back. I want to cut back, it's the right thing to do, and I read how other Americans are finding ways to save money, I just can't do all the things they are doing, like...

Cutting My Own Children's Hair

Each morning my children wake up looking like dogs have chewed on their hair all night (we don't have dogs). In order not to alert CPS, I sneak up behind my children while they are brushing their teeth and I try to quickly spray hair detangler in their hair and comb it before they have a chance to spit and scream "Stop". The event is usually less than successful and a full argument ensues over the idea of just getting their hair to lay down. There is no way I could cut it. One, I can't cut a piece of paper in a straight line and two, my children wouldn't let me. They believe a strange person coming towards them with a sharp pair of scissors is better than the alternative. So $30 every 2 months has to stay in the budget.

We are leaving hair to the professionals.

Using Coupons

I have blogged on this before. I have cut coupons and I have bought a coupon organizer and I schlepped them all to the store and sometimes I have a match and I save .20 cents. I have studied those people on Oprah who explain that you don't decide what to eat first but rather get the best deal on the food and then create a week's worth of meals based on what is in your pantry. I recognize my own limitations and making a meal out of black beans, tuna, and carrots is one of them. So our grocery bill remains the same.

The Library

I believe in libraries and they are a good, my problem is that I don't like to share with other people. Hagen and I have TRIED to to use the library on several occasions. We decide on the book, navigate through the Dewey Decimal system only to learn the book is checked out by someone else. We start over and try again and then again and then again. After four failed attempts for a book we leave and head to Barnes and Noble. grab a latte and easily find the book we were looking for proudly on display. It's not the library's fault, we just have a strong instint gratification gene, that they library cannot fulfill.

Completing A Set

One of the greatest weaknesses I have is the notions of a set. If there are toys, books, movies, pens, anything that are sold separately but are part of a trilogy or collection, I need the set. Things are better in a set. I still remember that overwhelming joy when I received the 3rd Holly Hobbie doll on Christmas night at Granny's house from my cousing Randy in 1978. I hugged him. He was much older and I am sure determined at that moment I was a freak. It was clear he did not understand the notion of a set.

Seriously, how can one separate Holly, Amy and Heather?

So if we have one of something, it is safe to assume we have it all. So, no money saving is going to happen there.

Doing Our Own Taxes

Several years ago, our taxes got complicated and Rog and I attempted to do them on our own. We nearly got a divorce and decided to outsource at that moment. We now pay $135 a year for Carlos to do what we are capability of doing but if I am correct...$135 is cheaper than attorney fees, so really we are saving money.

Well...I must go.. I am sure there is money I could be wasting somewhere...

Don't Look Down

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 13:24:36 GMT

What started as an errand to downtown Austin to deliver our tax documents to the tax man ended with lunch at Hula Hut and a trip to the state capitol.

I want to type that we enjoyed the tour, learned a lot, and can share that with you here. Instead, we enjoyed the cannons, the elevators and looking down.

Standing in the center of the capitol and looking up at the dome.

Looking up at Rog and Hagen on the 4th floor.

No one looking at all

Looking down at Hagen and Colton from the 4th floor.

Looking at the map for the gift shop.

On This Winter Day

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 23:18:38 GMT

On this winter day the sun shown a little brighter, a little higher, a little warmer.

On this winter day we set aside video games and fancy toys for a few dollar store water bottles.

On this winter day we made up a new game of tossing water bottles in the air and getting wet.

On this winter day we smelled the sweet smell of Coppertone, we let the sun hit our backs, a few more freckles emerged...on this winter day.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And The Award Goes To...

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:50:22 GMT

For the last two days I have sat in the school cafeteria watching my children along with hundreds of others receive their first semester awards. The "extra" time I had while sitting there gave me an opportunity to think...what are the awards my children could receive but never will....

For Colton

"I'm Sorry..You Seem To Think I Care"

Colton continues to amaze me by how little he seems to worry about the things I think are important, like ....grades. Colton has recently turned in writing assignments that simply say "Blah, blah, blah, blah." for topics that just don't seem to interest him.

Last week we worked hard to prepare for a writing assignment test.. When Colton actually did the test he didn't do very well, I asked him if he was disappointed based on all of the work he had done to prepare. His response "Ummm..no. It's fine."

For Hagen

"I have a 99 grade in spelling, but I can't spell."

Each week Hagen has a list of spelling words, we study, and does well each week on his test, but then when it comes to spelling any other word during the week he can't. Here is a typical conversation.

Hagen: Mom, how do you spell conncect?

Mom: C-O-N

Hagen: C-O-N (repeating has he writes)

Mom: N-E-C-T

Hagen: C-O-N-E-C what?

Mom: No, it's C-O-N-N-E-C-T

Hagen: C-O-N-E-C-T

Mom: No, there are two n's C-O-N-N-E-C-T

Hagen: Ohhhhhh. two c's. C-O-N-N-E-C.. what?

Mom: Y-O-U A-R-E K-I-L-L-I-N-G M-E

I'm More Disappointed And That's Ok

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 02:03:29 GMT

The science fair project results are in. We got a 2nd place ribbon.

We didn't get 1st, we aren't going to regionals, we got a second place ribbon.

Hagen doesn't seem to care, I am slightly disappointed.

Hagen tells me not worry and he even said "seriously. if you saw the other boards it is clear other peole worked harder than us."

Seriously, harder? People worked harder? I thought we worked pretty darn hard and to get a 1st we have to work harder? Wow.

Hagen applied a little bit of Huster logic "Mom, we could have gotten first if we wanted to. We just decided not to do an experiment. We went research. That's ok. We we will go experiment next year."

Next year? I have to do this again?

Rog reminded me of of our parenting goals "Our kids don't have to be the best, we just don't want them to be the worst."

"Hey,,,Hagen want to talk about next year?" He looks ready to start talking.

Oh well...there is always Colton.

"Science Fair? There is no way I am ever doing a science fair project."

Do You Hear The Stars?

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:08:09 GMT

Well, we made it. It's 7:09 p.m. and the glue is drying on our science fair project.

Hagen's topic was "Synesthesia". A condition in people that combine two or more senses. People can taste banana in their mouth when they hear a car horn honk. Or maybe they see blue when they eat chicken.

Hagen researched the topic and even tested his class to see if anyone in his class had the condition.

The designing of the board went as expected. I left once because we ran out of ink for the printer, we had to redo part of the board due to some typos that no one caught until the glue had dried...literally. We argued some. I enjoyed the smell of rubber cement. Hagen snuck off whenever someone wasn't looking. We struggled since we didn't do a science experiement but rather an exhibit that most of the suggested titles didn't work for us.

Do I hear stars? Nope. But I see the bottle of wine and girl scout cookies I am about to enjoy to celebrate our accomplishments.

The Science Fair Project - The Sophers vs. The Board

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 02:51:14 GMT

A key ingredient to any science fair project is the board. The presentaton board that is. It's where all of that knowledge, research, and science goodness come together on a tri-fold piece of cardboard. Where the scientist must now become the artist and try to get someone anyone to care about his or her topic through the use of titles, snazzy layouts, charts, graphs and construction paper.

It would help if the Sopher's would have purchased the board through the school in the 10 minute window they were selling them one Thursday morning, but we didn't. We didn't have a $5 bill on a Thursday nor did we get to school early enough to purchase one before the bell rang. But no fear, I purchased one at the local office supply store.

Tonight as I reread the science fair instructions I noticed that science fair boards had to be 48" wide and 30"deep. Our board is 48" wide and 24" deep. But what is deep really? Apparently, to every member of the Sopher family that was a different measurement. I called a parent and then another. I carted my board three houses down to compare it to a more responsible parent who had a school issued board in her possession. Yes, it seemed my board was the corrrect depth and width but much too tall. Did that matter? Would all of Hagen's hard work suddenly be disqualified but a mere 2 inches? We studied the few instructions we had and decided that height wasn't the issue and I returned home feeling ok with our board. Rog has doubts and I am sure we will make one more trip to the store before all of us our happy.

Forgetting about the size issues, Hagen and I studied the blank canvas tonight. We talked about where the "title" would go or the research chart or the conclusion. Hagen stood back and waved his hand around and said things "some stuff there or maybe stuff there." He then added, "Let's just make it look like we know what we are doing."

I nodded silently in agreement.

As long as I can remember, my dad has had a bullentin boad near his desk and tacked on that board is a notecard with a quote written in his hand writing that says, "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance. You should baffle them with bullshit." Now a gazillion years later, I stand with my 10 year old who carries on the quote by waving his arms around and just saying, "Let's just make it look good."

A board and bullshit. Full circle...my life has come full circle.

The board...currently with only one item so far.

A closer look.

Note to my dad ...no I am not cutting the board. I am buying a new one. Please do not call and offer to send a knife, advice on cutting the board, or a board used in a previous science fair project that we could use.

She Is Still Alive

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:25:54 GMT

We were foster parents this weekend to the 4th grade class turtle...Shelly. I am normally opposed to plants and animals as I feel this is additional pressure placed on me to keep yet another thing alive. As I type this, she is alive and we are returning her tomorrow, so I am feeling god.

The boys have requested we get a turtle. There may be hope...I can't really see where the turtle has pooped, I could outrun the animal if it escaped, it eats every other day and likes to eat lettuce..I always buy lettuce thinking my diet will start this week...Shelly prevented another bag going in the trash.

In other photos of the week...we purchased a new video game for the Nintendo DS..it encourages the boys to have time "closer" together.

I snapped a photo of the only green thing in my yard and my wallet.

And finally...with all of the Christmas toys so last month. I took the boys to Goodwill today and we bought two putters and some golf balls, we added some paper cups and we had ourselves...wind golfing, golf bowling, and cup golfing.

Project 365 - Give or Take a Few

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:46:23 GMT

My friend, Callie, recently told me about "Project 365". A simple project to encourage people to take one photo a day for a year. After googling the topic, it seemed interesting enough and I will give it shot. Of course, it is January 11th..so it's more like Project 354. But I took some this weekend and I have some from the past week, so if I add those its more like Project 360. Anyway...you get the picture (no pun intended).

Here are a few from this week...

The Science Fair Project - Part 2

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:16:43 GMT

When I last left you, I was overwhelmed and intimidated by the thought of completing a science fair project, I mean...Hagen completing a science fair project. It was clear when I googled the topic, I was going to fail.

But then I put on my project manager hat and did what PMs do, we break it down.

Step #1 - what type of project are we going to do. There are three choices:

a. classification (such as fossils, feathers, rocks)

b. research

c .experiment

I know Hagen is my child when given his choices he provides the following response: "We don't have anything to classify and an experiement seems like too much work so let's do research. You can't argue with the data."

Research it is.

Let's pick a topic. Ahhh...we got one...now let's start researching.

We are going to "research" this weekend. I will let you know how it goes....ORRRRRRR we may get distracted by this...

Did you know Colton gets his lovin on the run?

Eye of The Tiger

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:40:30 GMT

You should have heard us on day 1..we are much better now.

New Year's Resolution

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:18:00 GMT

Blog More...ok, I have been gone for awhile but I am back and I have renewed my subscription to blog drive for another year. My absence can only be blamed on me considering moving my blog to another service and that led just a deeper rat hole that I have finally returned from. So..resolution #1

Don't change what isn't broken

#2 - Stop attempting to think I am one of those people that can use coupons to cut my grocery bill by over half. I don't get it. I need it stop trying.

#3 - Learn how to make bubble letters. It's really never been a skill of mine and I have always wanted to. Rog can. He sometimes writes all day in bubble letters to taunt me.

#4. Leave my 30's better than I found them. This is really an overarching resolution with several sub tasks that I will not go into.

#5 Teach Hagen to ride a bike...oh wait...he figured it out on his own over Christmas break. Yee ha! It's a parenting tip of mine...wait long enough and they will get it...tying shoes, swimming, riding bikes...they have to want it more than me. It gives me more time to focus on bubble letters.

How? Why?

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:06:25 GMT

You realize we are only days away from Christmas card season? When we will push aside the bills, the flyers, and catalogs for American Girl (seriously, how did I get on that mailing list?) to rip open cards, letters, and greetings from our friends down the street and from across the country.

Christmas pictures are the best...to see the how your friends have changed and how the kids have grown and to be secretly jealous of the perfect family picture. HOW do they do they do that? How, even a brief moment, those familys look happy, look cute, their closthes coordinate and create Christmas card envy?

My inspiration this year were Christmas cards I bought last year on clearance. On the front of the card is a sample black and white photo of two shirtless children, lying on their stomachs, chins in their hands, smiling the perfect smile. I thought to mysef...I can do that. I would have shared that photo here, but I crumpled it up and threw it away on Sunday night.

On Sunday, I recreated the scene. I had good light, I did a few practice shots with my camera to make sure I was at the right angle. It was then I decided to actually use my own children in the photo session. Big mistake.

Why?

The Science Fair Diaries - Chapter 1

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 00:52:25 GMT

This blog is the first in what I hope to be many entries around the Sophers' first experience in participating in the school's science fair project.

Ahhhh, the science fair. A dreaded topic that I have somehow avoided until now. Now that Hagen is in 4th grade, he has to do one, required, a must, no piece of jewelry or size of gift card will get me out of this one.

A large assignment that requires forthought, special materials, a board that you have to purchase, and actual participation from your child over a span of time. Sigh. (I literally just sighed).

As we get closer to the deadline, I will explain the details around rules, the guidelines, and everything else. But that can be overwhelming for aanyone so I have decided to "project manage" this homework. I mean, it's what I do for a living, so I should use the practice at home.

Step 1. Hagen must decide if he is going to research a topic or complete an experiment.

Step 2. Pick a topic.

I introduced the the first two steps at dinner last night and tossed out some ideas that I had been collecting in my planner as they came to me for the last year (knowing this day would come).

It seemed to me Hagen was leaning towards experiment. He then said, "what experiement would be really easy to do and fast." Oh, a boy after my own heart. Again, we tossed around some ideas but didn't come to a firm decision.

Then today I did what I do in most areas of my life, I googled..."science fair projects".

A list of sites came up but I quickly found things like...

How widespread is the occurrence of spliceosomal introns in the nuclear-encoded rDNA of lichen-forming and free-living members of the Ascomycota
Spliceosomal (pre-mRNA) introns have previously been found in eukaryotic protein-coding genes, in the small nuclear RNAs of some fungi, and in the small- and large-subunit ribosomal DNA genes of a limited number of ascomycetes. How the majority of these introns originate remains an open question because few proven cases of recent and pervasive intron origin have been documented.

Repeated Sequences and Variegation on the Rubik's Cube
An investigation was conducted on the Rubik's cube to determine if a relationship exists between the order of a move sequence (the number of times the sequence must be performed on a solved cube for the cube to return to its original state) and the cube's average variegation (degree of disorder).

The inhibitory effects of camptothecin, a topoisomerase I inhibitor, on collagen synthesis in fibroblasts from patients with systemic sclerosis
The main manifestation of systemic sclerosis (SSc) is the overproduction of extracellular matrix, predominantly type I collagen. This study was undertaken to evaluate the effects of noncytotoxic doses of the topoisomerase I inhibitor camptothecin (CPT) on collagen production in the activated dermal fibroblasts from patients with SSc and healthy donors.

I am sorry...what???? What the hell are those topics? I don't understand those let alone graphically display that information on pre-purchased piece of cardboard.

Seriously?

Movin's On Up

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:34:00 GMT

Yep. 10 years ago today, I stood in grocery store buying ice cream when a trickle of something rolled down my leg. I raced home, called Kaysie, and identified the event that I most feared at that very moment..."Lisa, your water broke, you are having a baby." WHAT!?! I am not ready I thought

Now look what I am doing. I am making a video montage in celebration of my son turning TEN. I am not ready. Double digits. The big one. He is on his way. He is moving on up.

Happy Birthday to a cheese loving, video game player, star wars lover, jelly sandwich eater, always wanting to play with a friend, TV junkie, eyes roller, diet pepsi stealer, kind of a kid.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My Money Is On Colton

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:14:29 GMT

For the last 8 of the 10 days Colton has been in school he has ended up in study hall. Basically "study hall" to a 2nd grader is "you can go to recess until your work is done." Fair enough.

It started with Colton not wanting to tell us, but we were supportive and said things like, "That's OK Colton. If you are working hard, than we aren't mad. Do your best." As the days have gone on, Colton has slipped the topic into conversation at random moments at night. As he was walking out of the room, "Oh yeah, had a little study hall today." or "my my study hall visit was short today" .

Knowing that missing recess EVERYDAY has got to get annoying we offered to help Colton. We asked Colton things like, so what work aren't you getting done? Is there someone around you bothering you or distracting you? Do you not understand the instructions. All vaguely answered with a response similar to something like "no, it's just writing."

We pushed harder to find out what the "writing" issue was and Colton explained, he can't think of things to write about. Last Thursday he presented to us a "gift" from his teacher which was a small notebook he could use to write down ideas to help him think of things to write about. She suggested categories like "What If" or "I am an expert in " or "Things That Have Happened".

So we made it a family event and tried to help Colton brainstorm. Now, if any of you have spent ANY time with Colton you know that to Colton he does not accept the mantra "any idea is a good idea." In fact, he is just the opposite, "that idea you just suggested....worst idea I ever heard."

My first suggestion..."what if I moved to Iowa." Colton's reponse. "Why would I move to Iowa?" I tried to justify my answer but he refused to add it to the book. Hagen said, "Write about the time you went to Schlitterbahn." Colton's response, "the word Schlitterbahn is too long."

Some suggestions Colton just plainly said, "no, not good enough", others he argued with, and most he just ignored. Our list of ideas was sparse. He accepted:

What if I had red hair

Grandpa made me drums

I went to San Antonio

Tonight Colton's frustration with study hall had grown and Rog and I once again offered advice/suggestions. I said, "write about being a race car driver." he responded, "I don't know enough". I said, "write about when you got your 2nd place trophy." Colton responded, "you aren't suppose to write about stuff you know."

I gave up and told Colton he may just end up back in study hall again. Just like that Colton had won. His stubborness prevailed.

Telling this story to my friend Callie tonight, she reassured me that eventually Colton's teacher is going to get tired of Colton in study hall everyday. She probably needs that time to return calls, make copies, get a soda. She may realize that teaching Colton independence and independent thought was more than she bargained for. I should warn her now. She thinks that eventually Colton will change his ways in order to gain his full recess time, but he won't. He will wear her down like he does the rest of us.